you are not my friend
but you are not my enemy
I am dislocated
I am alone
just pass me by
like I pass you
I don’t want your
pointless conversation
I don’t want your hangups
maybe I’m a prick
but I want to be left alone
so pass me by
like I pass you
and sell your thoughts
to someone who wants them
You were standing on the ledge
Of a very high mountain
And with a look of utter confidence
You jumped into nothingness
I wanted to join you
I wanted to save you
But instead I just stood there
awkward bones
losing hope
itching skin
drinking water
feeling cold
feeling damned
breaking promises
feeling guilt
let it rot
watch it burn
it’s all catharsis
it’s all worthless
It’s all demonic
It’s all dead air
When I was younger
I tried to experiement
With anal intercourse
I would stick random
Things up my ass
To see if I liked it:
Plungers, pens, fingers
I eventually determined
That I did not like
Things in my asshole
Not because it hurt
But because it made
Me feel like I had to shit
Which was unpleasant
The asian girl
Has little tits
And a grin on her face
We met at some bar
I don’t remember
The name of
And we’re both
Plastered
Out of our minds
As I take off
My pants
She tells me
“You have big dick!!”
I say I don’t
But she insists
A few minutes later
I stick it in,
We grind for a few,
And she fakes an orgasm
Or at least
I think it’s fake
It just seems unlikely
That I could really
Make a woman scream
With that much intensity
But maybe I’m wrong
Maybe she did
Have an orgasm
Maybe she had the
Biggest orgasm ever
And maybe my dick
Really is big
But I doubt it.
Blurry vision
Fragmented thoughts
Caffienne shakes
Motorized growls
These things molest
My better judgement,
Bashing my head in
With a metal pipe
I’m sick and tired
And bitter and dead
I’m not very old
But I feel like I am
Every day drips together
I’m in constant Deja Vu
Always going crazy
Always bitching
Always full of shit
Always disappointing
Always on the verge
Always waiting for
Everything to change
The other night
A woman was shot
A few miles
Away from my home
She isn’t dead
But she’s in
Critical condition
I think that
I should feel
Empathetic
And compassionate
But I don’t
I think I should
At the very least
Feel scared
Or concerned
Or cautious
But for the most part
It hasn’t affected me
Very much at all
Violence plays cricket
In the court of whores
As my mouth chews a hole
In the fabric of time
The dissonant boys
Break their legs
And the unichs
Seize the moment
With Iron limbs
Castrating purity
In one brief gesture
A signal to the rest
That the time is now
The men in black
Shake a fist
As the women in white
Drink menstrual fluid
Given to them by the god
Of the lambs
………….
I’m alone here
With you
We talk and talk
But I’m alone
Nothing of worth
Is being said
We just talk
Bullshit
We just talk
Platitudes
I want something
Deeper,
Something bigger
I know you have it
Lurking in
Your brain
Don’t be afraid
Don’t be shy
Let it out
Let the monster
Play for awhile
I know it’s there
It has to be
This can’t be
All that you are
No depth
No thought
No emotion
Save for the
Superficial
I know that
There is more
There has to be
Isn’t there?
Muttered voices
Pounding drums
Painful screams
These are the sounds
Echoing through
My mind at 5 AM
On a Thursday morning
The sun will rise soon
And I will lay down
But even then
The drums will
Still pound
The screams
Will still scream
And the voices
Will still remain
With or without me
